My primary community here in Uganda is our house community, which includes Jessica and Diego and Maya (our house mates and their dog); Abia, Juliet and her 8 year old son-Emmanuel, (who work for us and live in our same little compound), and William; and Matt, Zeph, me. Living together has brought the biggest blessings and the most challenging struggles.
As and extrovert, I have loved having people around all the time. Although Matt is usually at work for long hours, I get to eat breakfast and lunch with Jes & Diego. I spend much of my day interacting with Juliet and Abia. As soon as Emmanuel gets home from school, he joins us and spends the afternoon playing with Zeph.
During our short time together, Juliet lost her oldest son, Abia has had a miscarriage, and Jessica lost her mother, and William's wife got pregnant with their 6th child...so we've lived very significant, life-shaping experiences together. I have seen how much comfort the "ministry of presence" can bring and how hard it is to offer that ministry.
Shortly after arriving in Uganda, I read this quote by Henri Nouen on a friend's blog: "More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel like you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn't be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs, that you do not simply like them, but truly love them."
This is the challenge of community: knowing that I am being overheard when I am having an argument with Matt, listening to friends when I just put Zeph down for a nap and have only a few precious moments of free time, having patience to engage teaching moments with Emmanuel even when I don't feel like stepping into the "village raising a child" context.
Speaking of a "village raising a child," there are also wonderful benefits to this aspect of community. I love knowing that there are eyes on Zeph almost everywhere he goes. When Zeph wanders into the front yard, I can hear him interacting with William, who often stops to take Zeph on an exploration around the yard to see all of the interesting plants and bugs. When Zeph wanders into the living room, Emmanuel reads him stories and carries him around and makes him laugh. When Zeph wanders into the back yard, I hear Juliet encouraging him and talking with him about how he's becoming such a big boy. Abia often picks Zeph up distracts him while I cook dinner. Many hands and many eyes really do help and I must say that Uganda is a fabulous place to raise a 16 month old. :)
Another community that I am a part of is the local "mom's group"; I have felt incredibly welcomed and supported by the group of expat moms in Mbarara. They have provided me with phone numbers for all needed contacts, they have given me rides to play groups, they have invited me over for dinner, they have cared to know my story. I love the growing friendships that have blossomed out of such an international, diverse community with women from Canada, South Africa, Australia, Holland, Switzerland, and the UK. And I have been reminded that friendship is a choice; that wonderful relationships can grow with people who are very different from me. Also, I have seen (as the outsider stepping in for a few brief months and then stepping out again) how important it is to reach out to those who are new to a context. I want to show the same welcoming spirit to others that I have experienced here.
Community is hard work...and it's well worth the effort.
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